The Truth About Lois
by Luv-Angel-Music
Summary: Lois suposedly dies...Everyone confesses their true um...feelings for her as well as a trip down memory lane! Lois Bashing Alert! R&R and I'll give you a cookie? :


**Disclaimer: **I do not own Smallville or Limited Too, or anything like that. Just the plot...

**Warning: **Lois Bashing with a surprise ending! If you're Lois fan...then get out of here, QUICK! Or you could just read the last few sentences... Oh yeah, and beware of OOC-ness!

* * *

One day, Lois decided to be her idiotic self and decided to help Clark on one of his missions. Oh... What an idiot, when will she learn that she's jut an annoying tag along? Lois decide she couldn't hold her true feelings for Clark any longer and confessed that she LOVED him. 

"Clark, every night, I've been watching you on my balcony! I have finally had the courage to tell you that... I LOVE YOU CLARK!" Lois said smiling. "I have a 10000000000000000-page report on what you do every second also!" Lois said happily throwing some pictures of Clark brushing his teeth, sleeping, at school, and just about everything else that Clark could possibly do.

"..." Clark could only stare at Lois, speechless.

In the middle of no where, a brave bee came out and stung Lois! Oh no! What will we do?

"Lois!" Clark said concerned then he dug in his jacket to find some way to help her. _Darn... I should've taken health class... _Clark though as he dug out a...JELLYBEAN! "Here, eat this! It'll help!"

Lois nodded and choked on the jellybean and "died".

"Ye-I means... Uh oh..." Clark cheered/muttered as he ran away for help.

* * *

Lois's funeral was very...well...big, unfortunately... All of her friends and family where there. So there laid Lois in her casket that was open... 

"She looks so..."

"Like she's made out of plastic?" Lana volunteered.

"Yeah...Hm...Was she always like that?" Clark added.

The ceremony began with everyone feeling "sad" about it, finally when Lois was buried every went to the after party.

"Wait... You mean she was with you?" Chloe sobbed.

"Uh... Yea... I couldn't save her, Chloe! It was too late!" Clark said over dramatically as he started coughing and sobbing fake-ly.

"Chloe, it's alright, I'm sure Clark at least TRIED," Lana said offering comfort to her friend.

"Honestly when we think about it, Lois was really annoying..." Lex muttered a little to loudly.

"LEX!" Chloe and Lana exclaimed, "shocked".

"Well... He has a point..." Clark added.

"True... It was an embarrassing way to die..." Lana pointed out after little thought.

"Guys!" Chloe said helplessly.

"Chloe, I mean think about it..." Clark said, "She ruined EVERYTHING to summarize it all."

"We should make a toast to this..." Lex said as he then rose up and with a lot of effort managed to quiet down the party. "Today, Lois died, so let's us share all of the ba--I mean good times we had with her."

The room fell silent. No one could really remember ever having fun with Lois...

"She always was the most annoying sister ever..." Lucy, Lois's sister pointed out as the room nodded with agreement.

"I was embarrassed to have her as a daughter..." Lois's dad pointed out.

Everyone in the room nodded and agreed. What could they say? They hated Lois...Poor Lois...

"She ALWAYS tried to tag along with me...she was SO nosy..." Clark added.

"Hear Hear!" The crowd replied.

"She was also, too dumb for her own good..." Lana added. "I pitied her at one point..."

"YAY! No more snobby rich brat!" Lois's maid exclaimed.

"Now that I think about it... She was REALLY annoying too! I mean she constantly acted like she knew everything...AND she killed my hamster!" Chloe whined. "I was her COUSIN!"

"She practically LIVED at our house! What a hobo!" Jonathan and Martha exclaimed. "Imagine having to LIVE with her!"

Sorry's and pity's where heard among the crowd.

"I was SO SICK of saving her every single time!" Clark complained. "Such a hassle..."

"She tried to steal so many things from me, and always asked for help, every single minute! And all of those prank calls... I mean what the heck?" Lex shouted.

"She confessed her love for me! THAT was insane!" Jason added.

"She did that to you too?" Clark asked, astonished.

"Yeah! She did the same for me!" Lex added as a random guest snorted.

"And me!" Lionel said as everyone burst into laughter.

* * *

So let's take a trip down memory lane...

* * *

Lois walked into Lex's house flipping her hair around. 

"LEX! I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Lois bellowed on top of her lungs.

"Ok..." Lex said raising an eyebrow. "Would this by any chance be a waste of my time?"

"Lex, I have a confession to make...I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUR BALD SHINEY HEAD AND YOUR BAD AND EVIL SEXY SIDE AND EVERYTHING ELSEABOUT YOU!"

"..." Lex was speechless and flattered. His mom had always told him that girls would be attracted to his baldhead... Now if only it'd work on Lana...

"LEXY?" Lois said tilting her head to the side.

"SECURITY!" Lex screamed as the security rushed into his house and dragged a protesting Lois out.

* * *

Jason's experience...

Jason was just innocently going to the mall, going into a store we all know as Limited Too. Why was he in there? We have no clue...

"JASON!" Lois screamed from behind the rack. Jason then turned around and fled, only to his luck, his jacket got caught in the hanger and he fell down.

I'm not here...I'm not here...Oh! Pretend to look busy! Jason thought as he started to face the section of pink glittery shirts and purses...Just his luck...

"JASON!" Lois exclaimed giving Jason CPR.

"WHAT THE---" Jason said running away from Lois, unfortunately, he ran into a shelf this time...

"Jason! You're alive! I've always wanted to tell you that I loved you! You're just so evil and sexy! You can even screw up Lana's and Clark's relationship! I mean now I can finally go out with Clark once Lana is out of the way!" Lois exclaimed happily.

"Wh--who are you!" Jason screamed backing up.

"Lois!" Lois giggled. "Like my speech? It took me three years to figure it out!"

Jason then got hold of the nearest thing he could find and a Hillary Duff poster (it was in clearance for obvious reasons...)

"I--I have..." Jason paused, then looked down at his hand to see a limited too perfume in one hand... "LIMITED TOO PERFUME!" Jason then sprayed the perfume at himself due to the clear top and started hacking at the sweet smell as he whacked the air around him furiously with the poster.

"Jason! I never knew that you liked perfume! See? We have so many things in common already!" Lois screeched.

Jason then backed up into another rack of clothes as it fell on top of Lois. Jason then took this chance to flee from _Limited Too._

_Whew...That was close..._

_

* * *

_

Chloe's experience...

"WHAT? YOU FLUSHED MR FLUFFY BUNNY DOWN THE TOILET!" Chloe screamed at her idiotic cousin.

"YEA! And he went round and round... WHEEE! But he got stuck..." Lois replied smiling at her accomplishment.

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"How could you keep that ugly bunny anyways?"

"AHHHHHH!" Chloe screamed from frustration.

"Oh look at the time! I've wasted thirty seconds of my precious Clark stalking time!" Lois added checking her watch.

"You stalk Clark?"

"Proud member of his fanclub! AND his number one fan!"

"Gr..." Chloe muttered under her breath. "I'm SO telling him of this!"

"Nuh uh! One step ahead of you!" Lois said smartly as she opened a yearbook. On it in pink glittery pen and a heart around Clark's picture, Chloe had written, Mrs. Clark Kent all over the page.

"WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS?"

"Tell Clark, and I'll show him that!"

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can! And look at this!" Lois said opening the yearbook to the back page. "Dear Clark..."

"SHUT UP!" Chloe whined as Lois snickered. "I have a port-a-bat!"

"I didn't know you where that poetic..." Lois commented reading the rest of the poem dedicated to Clark. Chloe then got out her port-a-bat.

"Um...Hey.That's a little harsh!" Lois said backing away from Chloe and her port a bat.

"Bye!" Lois screamed as she ran out, fortunately, she tripped on a rock and went tumbling down the stairs.

"Wow...how annoying was she?" Chloe said laughing at all of the memories her friends had just told everyone. Lana then began to tell her story of the annoying Lois before the crowd erupted with noise.

"Very." Everyone exclaimed.

"So, this is to Lois, the annoying brat that we all love to hate." Clark snickered raising his glass as everyone did the same. The doors then burst open, as our coughfavoritecough character walked into the room, alive and well.

"YOU GUYS DO LOVE ME!" Lois said smiling and jumping up and down.

"WHAT? You're supposes to be... DEAD!" Lionel screamed.

"Haha, Nope! I just wanted to see how you guys felt about me! I even got a wax doll to represent my self! When Clark ran up for help, I replaced the wax doll with myself! YOU GUYS LOVE ME! I Promise that I'll stick around with you guys, FOREVER!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Everyone yelled and screamed as they fled from the room. Leaving Lois looking confused and satisfied.

* * *

** The End... **

* * *

It's ok, I"m making an alternate ending! This was written after having ten cokes, watching a smallville episode, and **TriggerHappy04** helping me with this fic! So it was kind of co-written! I'm not a Clark/Lana fan btw...  



End file.
